The secret to becoming a natural with women: Being a natural, means you get results without thinking and one’s subconscious mind masters an arena or topic without effort. Naturals are often charismatic and “shine” with women. A word that explains this is that they come off congruent.
If you have lived a certain way all your life and suddenly say some lines that you have read in a book, (sentences that initially worked for the author’s personality) people may pick this up. The behaviour you show is not integrated into your character. If you say or do things without blocks, tensions, or problems and it feels right for you, then it is natural.
Imagine someone trying to pick up a girl for his first time, and he just talks unnaturally. People seeing this may think – “what the heck is he doing?” Your body language often displays what is going on inside you. So if you are nervous or unsure, people can see this. All experiences get stored inside your body. The goal is to get positive experiences so that your body language becomes more and more attractive.
You get right body language either by socializing a lot OR by releasing tension from your body. Just as positive experiences get stored in your body, so does terrible experiences get stored in your body too. Either way, if you choose to get positive feedback or get rid of the negative feedback. It leads to a more natural body language. The book Code of the Natural, by Rob Brinded, describe this closer and is a good read for getting better insights and results.
Being normal is also underrated in the seduction community. When talking to girls, it’s not just about doing techniques. You can also express yourself, tell her about your day, about your thoughts and tell her a story. Being normal is showing that you have at least some average perceptions and qualities. I would recommend strongly that a person is perceived “normal,” before he learns to pick up techniques and game. We will write more about pick up and the game later.
A person gets normal by socializing. If you are “yourself” with good friends and express yourself by talking openly and feeling safe, then these things will implement in your personality. Your socialization and everything that follows (validation, thrust, social codes, body language, etc.) will shine through. People can pick up if you have a history of good socialization or not. Remember to be with friends and family. We suggest this because it often gives you good relations with thrust, support, and openness. It’s essential to 1. be normal. 2. then learn some game.
What is Game:
In the beginning, “game” is pretending to be something that you are not. For example, you are initially pretending that you are non-needy, but with practice, you implement these attitudes, and they become natural for you. It’s fake it till you make it. The long-term goal is to become “natural”. You don’t want to be a player who pretends you are not needy all your life when you are needy deep inside. You don’t want to keep “gaming” or acting forever. It’s fine in the beginning, but it comes a time when you should become natural at the deepest level.
The game is also about reading NEW information. At first, it will be new information for you. In this phase, doing the techniques and routines is an act as you try it out. Then you will see that it works and you will keep doing it more and more. After implementing it for some time, it becomes an unconscious habit which is natural. The process of learning, moving from conscious practice to an unconscious habit. The goal is to reach unconscious competence.
When you read a book about socialization, sometimes the information may be new to you, or sometimes you recognize it (previously unconsciously). If you realize it and can say “yeah, I am already doing that, this book only puts words on how my life is “then you are natural as you are already doing what the book describes and teach.
If everything is new to you, then you are learning it. Applying it may be described as “game”, but after a specific time, you master it and do it unconsciously. Then, it’s natural for you. Many of the books about dating, describe what naturals already do. If you ARE natural and then read a book about pick up, and you want to practice the tips in the book, then you are taking a step back from where you are!
The word «naturals» simply means people with unconscious habits. People who practice «game» are acting as they know what they are doing, when in fact they are learning something new. The goal is to practice enough until you get skilled. Practice makes perfect, and after a while, your conscious efforts becomes unconscious efforts. Succeeding without conscious effort is when you can be labelled a natural.
Socialize a lot, until you are getting liked by being yourself around your male and female friends, then you are ready to go to the next level – seduction. Here, slowly try learning from other naturals who reminds you most of yourself and your personality—slowly learning with implementing a new thing one step at the time. If it works, implement it. If it doesn’t, try something else.
The reason you want to focus on learning things one step at the time, is so you don’t get overwhelmed with information. Having a coach who is good with pedagogy and can teach you what you need to know when you are ready would be the absolute ideal scenario. Feel free to share this post with a friend who likes this topic! Maybe you could support each other in the learning process.