The basics in dating

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The basics of dating

the fundamentals i dating image

The basics in dating are about the quality of the personality girls seems attracted to. Confidence appears to be a winner. To get confidence is sometimes a catch 22 because to get it; you often need experience. And girls can” smell” (pick up on) if you have a lot of experience with girls in general. There are subtle shifts in your body language when you have confidence. It’s about how you look at people, the way you talk, and the tone of your voice. People with good fundamentals don’t need to play games, such as being hard to get, to get girls.

The power of humour:

Humour is a winner, being funny makes people laugh, and laughter is a bonding tool. Also if you are funny, and can make her laugh, you are then influencing her in a way and influence is btw also attractive. Girls enjoy people who can give them positive and good emotions. Laughter makes the nervous system more relaxed. Laughter creates the hormone endorphins, and a shared laugh establishes a bond of friendship.

The power of charisma:

Charismatic people are people that are in the flow! Another way to say this is that charismatic people have few limits, few traumas, few limited beliefs. People that have few limitations, aka inflow, are charismatic! Nothing is holding them back to express themself, to be open and talkative! Research suggests that charismatic people have more influence than ordinary people. Charisma, I believe, also applies to date and seduction. Guys that are charismatic/have power can easily influence girls to have sex with them!

charismatic, influence, limited beliefs - The basics in dating

Being social

Being social is sometimes the same as being” normal”. Because if you socialize a lot, with a lot of different people, this will form your personality. Others can notice that you have a history of a lot of socialization. You will send out good vibes by being a guy that often socialize. One TRAPP is people that are below average/below normal, try out PICK UP and seduction techniques they have read about on the internet. This comes across as CREEPY! Step 1 – Be normal. Always Socialize and have a balanced life before using Pick up technology. When you are ready, learn more about pick up and gaming here:

Socialize to receive good feedback

I socialize a lot within my social circle and do not hit on the girls there. Doing it this way leads to useful feedback from the social process. Then when I meet girls from the net or at nightclubs they can pick up my stored feedback, from the social circles! Because of good validation from my social circle, I get better feedback from girls! Then, the social process picks up the stored feedback I have received from dating with girls. All this feedback from these different areas is «stored in your body» and leads to better body language.

This leads to a positive spiral. If you do it the opposite way, hit on the girls in the social circle, your feedback will be different, and also there will be something missing when going to the nightclub. It is not impossible to close girls in your circle, not at all. But for the average reader, I am suggesting using them as friends! At a high level/ having good fundamentals, girls will try to chase you in the social circle, but that is at a high level (being in the positive spiral for a long time). To get rid of bad feedback and validation, read more about how to release tension here:

social circel, feedback, release tension, body language - The basics in dating


We all need social contact. Many of us project that needs to the opposite sex. But, you will get that need covered by just hanging with friends or family. A person that has a high degree of neediness (the need for social contact) is not attractive. Being needy implies that you don’t have friends since the neediness is so high. Your neediness will drop when you hang around friends and socialize. By socializing, you will come off as more attractive for women, because you are not channelling your neediness onto them. You are spreading your neediness a little bit to EACH of your friends.

If you follow this prescription, nobody will complain, and you will be attractive in everybody eyes. That is why the tips about dating other girls, help you out of obsession over one girl. You should NEVER channel all your contact needs to ONE person. Even in a relationship, you should hang with friends and socialize. The most healthy relationships are those when you are excited to see your partner. To conclude, non-needy is attractive because it implies you have other options. Having different options is an attractive evolutionary trait, hardwired into our brain and genes.

Clothes and hygiene

This is obvious, but still very important. Cool clothes, a cool haircut, and smelling good and friendly hygiene is part of the fundamentals. If you don’t have this your” attraction threshold” or your fundamentals will below. Having good fundamentals in dating is the most important things to work on. It is the thing that gives you best feedback and responses for girls, in the shortest amount of time. An example of guys who have good fundamentals in dating is the two guys, the main characters, in the Tv show “One tree hill’. When you have all these things mentioned in the order, girls will automatically like you.

clothes, hygiene, self esteem, fundamentals - The basics in dating

Good self-esteem

Good self-esteem is usually a consequence of having humour, suitable clothing, socializing with friends, and having confidence in your people skills. This will lead to both charisma and self-esteem. When you have a lifestyle, you are happy with; you don’t get needy or desperate. Non-needy people get more liked than needy people. Because it implies, they have fewer friends. Having standards and spend time on things that will be beneficial for you to tend to lead to success. The leading authority on the self-esteem topic is Nathaniel Branden.

” Game” is often trying to convey to girls that you are non-needy (even if you are). People need to READ about what types of things they can say and SMS, to be perceived non-needy. Reading is essential in the beginning, but the long-term goal should be to have a hardcore inner game. A strong inner game, or having good self-esteem leads to a smooth outer game. The thing you say and do comes automatically and naturally from good self-esteem.

Naturals are people that have been raised right and have good programming since birth. These are guys that often have had loving parents have had some” luck” in that it was a great neighbourhood, including School class. They have always had a lot of friends and have been popular at school. Because of positive spirals of feedback, they also have good fundamentals in dating. Feedback forms people, shape them, as explained earlier in the post. People categorize people, into red, yellow and green flags when they screen for their perfect partner:

These are the fundamentals of dating. If you want others to be in the know about this, or share what you know, please feel free to share! People realize this information on a subconscious level, but it is good to put words on what they know!

14 comments on “The basics in dating

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  10. Spiritual

    I can’t see you have ever commented anything on this site before. Sorry about that. If you used another email adress, maybe thats why I can’t see it. you can contact us via the contact form on the bottom of the website and inform about your other email and we will look into removing you.

  11. lee

    brilliantly insightful post. If only it was as easy to implement some of the solutions as it was to read and nod my head at each of your points


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