CBT – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

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CBT - Cognitive behavoural therapy image

CBT, which stands for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, is about doing things that are out of your normal behavioral patterns. By doing this, you will gain a new perspective on how the world works.

People love their habits, and many just keep repeating what they’ve always done. This repeated behavior includes routines, habits, and patterns. It starts with your thoughts and results in emotions and actions. If you want to change the outcomes and results in your life, new approaches are needed. Einstein put it nicely when he said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

A person forms his thoughts based on what he/she experienced.  If you ask yourself why you think a certain way, it’s probably because of real-life experiences. So we use the same mechanism to change people beliefs by changing their experiences. Since these factors influence each other, if we change one of our thought factors, the emotions and actions will often lead to a whole new chain.

Cognitive bias, thinking errors, black/white thinking - CBT

Cognitive biases are “thinking errors”. These include absolute thoughts, black/white thinking or thinking in other illogical ways. There are numerous thinking errors a person may have, and thinking in the wrong way which doesn’t represent reality often leads to failure.

Cognitive therapy addresses this by focusing more on investigating the different thoughts and beliefs that you may have. The therapist may ask you to question what is the worst that can happen if you go and talk to a stranger. Point out where you have what is called cognitive biases.  In cognitive therapy, it’s normal to talk about “evidence” to see real results. But if your “evidence” is a failure, then it’s no surprise you think and act the way you do. By thinking and acting the same, the evidence remains the same.

The difficulty is that is hard for the individual to recognize their own thought patterns – because they live in it! They believe it to be true, which is why they are there in the first place. Watching behavioral patterns which comes from thinking patterns is easier. Behavior patterns are something tangible and visible to observe. The most effective therapy is probably by doing both cognitive therapy and CBT. Asking questions regarding your thoughts and doing missions.

Effective therapy, Cognitive behavioural therapy, cognitive therapy - CBT

Cognitive behavioral therapy focuses on changing your behavior to see new evidence. A person will often have a session with a therapist who points out where he can change his behavior. He gets certain “missions” to do. By doing these missions, you will get new evidence, and these new experiences will change their limited beliefs. The mind must believe what it experiences, and as stated; new experiences come from doing new things.

But the trick is to be consciously aware of this. Most people will not try out new things consciously breaking their habits if they have not been reflecting over the benefits of doing so. An example of doing a mission is to try to talk to a stranger and see what happens. Another new behavior can be to say no to a person. While trying out these new missions a person often has some tools available. Another example is one may learn some psychological tools that will increase their chances of success with influencing other people.

If talking to strangers has positive outcomes, one will now have new knowledge and tools for success.  This will lead to greater confidence and self-belief. Better confidence makes your nervous system work more smoothly and your body language will be better. This will lead to others getting more responsive and attracted to you. Cognitive behavioral therapy is with other words experimenting with your behavior. By taking chances, you can succeed. But never taking chances is a loss. Learn how to take initiative to social gatherings here: https://abundance7.com/taking-initiative-to-social-gatherings/

React in a different way, take iniativ to social gatherings, how to be more unpredictable - CBT

Another example in CBT is to choose to react in a different way. Instead of repeating the response in a similar situation, change your response. If you used to get mad, try diplomacy. If you are used to pleasing other people and that doesn’t work, try setting boundaries. The important thing is to look at what works. The world works in terms of patterns. Try recognizing the patterns that are in play all around you. If you train your brain to watch for patterns in others, it will also be easier to see similar things in yourself. Learn more about patterns: https://abundance7.com/how-to-be-more-unpredictable/

The average person may say Sue is like “this and that”. They most likely don’t use patterns, but when people describe each other, they are often describing patterns. In this way people are predictable. Because people keep repeating what they are doing unless one works actively with CBT and cognitive therapy. If you work with these things, in time, you will become more and more “unpatterned”. Another word for this is freedom. So instead of becoming submissive when somebody is criticizing you, try to do something different, such as looking them directly in the eyes and straighten your back and say firmly what you mean. This is another mission example.

unpatterned, missions, submissive, freedom of choice - CBT

It’s your choice if you want to follow “rules” or to have freedom of choice. The thoughts you keep repeating for yourself are “the rules” you are following. You are trapped in your own thinking and behavioral patterns. If the “just do it” concept works for you, keep experimenting to “just do things”. If it doesn’t work for you, you have probably hit resistance. This is an emotional charge around the topic. It’s very hard to use your will to do something you resist. It’s like driving a car with the brakes on. In these cases, it’s important to release the emotional resistance. You can also dissolve the cognitive blocks with cognitive therapy. (CT)

The important thing in CT is to find nuances. For example, understanding what happened 10 years ago doesn’t have anything to do with you now. Or the nuance that the person who did something to you was an idiot. Or the nuance that you have the tools now to influence and change the outcome. Another nuance is that now you are 10 years older and wiser, so the chances of success are higher now.

The goal is to feel good, to be in flow in all areas and situation. Therefore, identify when you get kicked out of state and work with these situations. The identification process is easy because you feel what is unpleasant. The triggered situation is the target for CT, CBT, TRE and other therapies. Read about T.R.E: https://abundance7.com/tre-trauma-release-excercise/

TRE, Trauma Release excercise, emotional resistance, habitual avoidance, creatiive avoidance - CBT

After you have released emotional resistance on a habit, you may also experience habitual avoidance. This is avoiding a topic because you have always done so, even if the emotional resistance is gone and your mind has not caught up. Creative avoidance can also happen where you find creative excuses for why you are avoiding something. If you are rationalizing and finding smart excuses for yourself where you’re stopped from doing things, it may be creative avoidance.

7 comments on “CBT – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

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  6. Butterfly :)

    Hallo 😀
    I must say that you are a very good writer, keep it on!

    CBT – is that some methods you can do to release if there something that bothers you? I would like to hear more about it 🙂

    Reply
    1. Dating Guru

      Thank you for that! CBT works for changing patterns. If you have a bad habit of example. You can do something different and see that the new attitude may work for you. It is about trying out different things! One example of cognitive therapy tough is “the work” by Byron Katie, where you answer some questions. Good luck! 🙂

      Reply

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